Twas the season ...

I love the holidays, especially Christmas. I've always tried to make them  meaningful, personal, incorporate community service projects whenever we could and develope special customs and traditions into our household celebrations. It takes so much time to prepare for that we have always left our tree and decorations up well into the second or third week of January. In fact we just packed the last of the lights up today and gave the house another thorough clean.

Our tree has had the same angel for the past 20 years and has had to have "rainbow" lights for Lindsay who began requesting them from a very young age. The ornaments are all personal and many hand made by the girls, some with pictures of their Christmas pasts framed in popsicle stick stars. Morgen took up hanging the outdoor lights a few years back and Amber now makes the fresh greens wreath for our door every year through her 4H group. We use a small wooden, hand carved creache' from Germany that is a cherished wedding gift. It was always fun watching the girls count down the days to putting baby Jesus in the manger and using their special Advent candy boxes which always had to include Rolo caramels. There's a short verse or psalm under the lid, leading up to Christ's anticipated birth but I'm certain it's the Rolo's that make them ensure it still gets filled and placed on the coffee table, even now that they're all older.  After eating the candy and sharing the reading, the ornamental boxes are hung on the tree, until there are no more remaining in the basket. Everyone usually helps put Christmas dinner together which for us often consists of ham, mashed or sweet potaoes, pineapple stuffing, green bean bake and Aunt Kathleen's famous old fashioned cheesecake for dessert ... which several people told me I'd never be able to acquire the recipe for (happily shared below).

This holiday season was alot more challenging because of my work schedule and Morgen's unexpected illness that landed her in the hospital the week before X-mas but with the help of everyone, it came together nicely and was surprisingly one of my most relaxing and enjoyable holiday seasons I've had in awhile. I worked New Years Eve too this year but was able to be home before the ball dropped.

I was glad I had begun celebrating earlier than usual this year by accepting an invitation from my good friend Sue to attend a new cookie swap (new to me) early in December. The hostess had been throwing this event for many years, at one time growing very large, and then over recent years reducing it to her closest friends and family and sometimes their acquantances (me smiling) . Her home was decorated so beautifully (envision an Old Toy Christmas) and she was the most organized, relaxed and gracious of hostesses. I am looking forward to attending again next year and even already purchased the polyanna.

We all made a dozen cookies for each person in attendence (wrapping or packaging them seperately, which worked out great when it came time to *swap*; all each person had to do was collect one containered or wrapped dozen from each person instead of counting out individual cookies) and bring one extra dozen for the sample table. Unbenounced to anyone, she asked her son to taste test and determine "best cookie" and it turned out that my Vanilla Pecan Crescent Cookies was his pick. Pennsylvania Dutch Eggnog served with floating french vanilla or eggnog icecream, also served at the swap, has become my new traditional holiday (and post holiday) drink. I'd never liked it as a kid but was I ever glad I tried it again. Here's some pics and the cookie recipe which I origionally acquired and adapted from Taste of Home by adding jam to some batches (gotta have at least one good flaky pastry and jam cookie) and substituting pecans for the walnuts that I'm allergic too.

Vanilla Pecan/Jelly Crescent Cookies

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/8 tsp. salt

1 cup cold butter

1 egg, seperated

2/3 cup sour cream

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

2/3 cup finely chopped pecans (or walnuts)

2/3 cup sugar

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

Jam - optional (I used mango jam)

In large bowl, combine flour and salt; cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.  In a small bowl, whisk the egg yolk, sour cream and vanilla; add to crumb mixture and mix well.  Cover and refrigerate 4 hours or overnight.

Devide dough into thirds. On a lightly floured surface, roll each portion into a 10" circle. If using jam, spread circle to 1/4" from edge. Combine nuts, sugar and cinnamon; sprinkle 1/4 cup over jam or dough surface and

then cut into 12 wedges.

Roll each wedge from widest end and place point side down, 1" apart on greased baking sheets. Curve ends to form crescents. Whisk egg white until foamy and brush over tops of cookies. Sprinkle with remaining nut mixture.

Bake at 350* for 18-20 min. or until light brown. Remove to wire racks to cool. Store in an airtight container.

And here's the cheesecake Recipe too. It is sooooo rich, we only make this once a year at Christmas time, but have to make more than one pan, because it's become tradition to visitors too .

Aunt Kathleen's Old Fashioned Cheesecake

Pie Crust:

Mix together and line a 9"x13" non greased pan by working dough gently and as evenly as possible across bottom and up sides by at least 1 1/2 inches. Take your time, this dough works very nicely.

2 cups sifted flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1/4 pound butter (melted)

2 large eggs

6 tbsp. sugar

Filling:

Combine ingrediants and beat well. Pour into crust and lightly sprinkle with cinnamon before baking 300* for 1 hour. Cool before refrigerating.

2 - 8oz pkg cream cheese

6 large eggs

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 1/2 cups milk

1/2 pint sour cream (1 cup or 8 oz.)

2 tbsp. flour

1 tsp. vanilla

Note: Best when made 1-2 days before serving.

Where did September and October go?

September and October just flew by! I like fall and all the beautiful burndt orange, yellow and red leaves drifting from the trees but it's been an unseasonable wet and damp few weeks, making it less enjoyable.

We usually spend evenings around the fire pit out back this time of year but that's definately been hampered by the weather. It rained Halloween but Amber was still able to get a good bit of trick-or-treating in before it got too heavy. We drove to Hillsboro, NJ to see my friend Jenn and family. Holiday planning and celebrating is definately Jenn's forte and we're always happy to join them for the holidays. Here's some pics of the kids, the merry ghosts and Jenn's seasonal tree...

September brought both a happy celebration (a baby shower) for a dear friend's daughter and a tragic accident and subsequent passing of same dear friend's son, both events within days of each other. I've known Terri since middle school. She married her high school sweetheart Tom and together they had three beautiful children, Thomas, Michelle and Kristopher (all adults now). Their daughter Michelle was the flowergirl in our wedding and as you can see from the pics was cute as all get out. Her beautiful baby arrived in October and she so sweetly named him after her brother ... Thomas Evan.

Thomas (their son) and his fiance' had just moved to Florida a few weeks before his injury. The family is very loving and close and it saddens me so much to know the loss they're bearing but fortunately, I know they also have an incredible, enviable and very large network of support via friends, coworkers and family. A benefit will be held in Tom's honor the day after Thanksgiving, to support Mothers Against Brain Injuries, a group in Florida that provided much needed and much appreciated support to the family during Tom's final days in the hospital.

I found a memorial plaque from BereavementStore.com with a beautiful poem that I thought was so fitting for this exceptionally, close-knit family. It's called The Broken Chain.

"We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for part of us went with you the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side. Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again."

Rest in peace Thomas and God Bless the Britton's as they navigate through this difficult time.

Faith, Parenting and Aggressive or Abusive Behavior

I'm all for a persons right to choose and practice their faith. I'm all for a persons right to choose the upbringing of their child. But there is a defining line when the waters of both become muddied and converge with aggressive or abusive behavior in the name of either. What's worse is when these abusive and ironically, self proclaimed Christian persons not only treat their own poorly, but are so out of control that they'll do it in front of other people and/or to other peoples children, without hesitation or expressions of  regret.

Abuse is largely learned behavior but it can also be unlearned. It wreaks havoc on it's victims and their relationships making them feel sad, hurt, lonely, angry, embarrassed, misguided, mistreated and hungry for kindness, trust and love. It's ugly no matter what the circumstance is but it's especially sickening when it's victims are children or developing young adults who want nothing more than to be loved, honored, respected, trusted and protected by the grown ups in their lives.
Some signals or signs of aggressive behavior and/or abuse ...

• When a person snares at and towers over another person, gritting their teeth and scrunching their face in anger and ugliness, bullying persons into doing or saying whatever it is that the abuser is intent on.
• When a person intentionally humiliates another in front of others ... especially a young person in front if their peers.
• Trust is withheld or nonexistent.
• The aggressive person is grossly misguided in his/her own perception of authority and/or adulthood/parenthood.
• When a person is prevented from speaking and/or being heard.
• When someone raises a fist to, punches or pushes another.
• When all the above escalates into dangerous behavior like grabbing someone by the throat, saying hurtful or threatening things like "you want me to really hurt you?" ... or worse, leaving marks.
• When aggressive persons justify their own behavior by repeatedly blaming their victims, telling them it's their fault and/or that their actions provoked the abusers aggression.

There are options for both the victims and concerned family and friends ...

1. Be a support person to the victim by showing love and compassion to them and their situation and make them aware that they themselves have choices.
2. Make sure that they understand that it's NEVER their fault that they are being mistreated and abused. Abusers are the one's out of control and usually tell their victims that they did or said something to provoke their anger and actions. Unfortunately, when heard enough times, a victim may also begin to beleive the lies.
3. Don't be afraid to communicate with others in the victim's circle. Forming a network of awareness is like creating an additional safety net . 
4. Make sure that they know that you and/or others are available to them 24-7, that there are safe houses and options, as well as the right to seek help on their own from clergy, teachers, guidance counselors, community or municipal resources.
5. Child Protection Services, although in many states is as broken the families it's intended to serve and protect, is still worth seeking assistance when deemed necessary.

There are numerous parenting resources available via support groups, parenting groups, online resources and books. Unfortunately, aggressive or abusive personalities won't often recognise or admit that they could benefit from such resources and respond with, "Don't tell me how to raise my kids!" . Nonetheless, here are some of those resources ...

1. Children Learn What They Live - Parenting to Inspire Values by Dorothy Law Nolte
2. 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting - Nurturing Your Child's Sole by Mimi Doe
3. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy by Naomi Aldort
4. Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus, Children are from Heaven - Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident and Compassionate Children by John Gray
5. Family Man by Calvin Trillin
6. Giving the Love that Heals - A Guide for Parents by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt
7. Surrendering to Motherhood - Losing Your Mind, Finding Your Soul by Iris Krasnow 
8. A Tribe Apart: A Journey into the Heart of American Adolescence by Patricia Hersch
9. Codes of Love - How to Rethink Your Family and Remake Your Life by Mark Bryan
10. The Dance of Anger - A Woman's guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Goldhor Lerner
11. Before Woman had Wings (fiction) by Connie May Fowler
12. Online Parent Class - For personal growth or court appointed fulfillment: http://www.onlineparentclass.com/About-Online-Parent-Class.aspx

Atsion Lake at Wharton State Park, NJ

I've worked in many venues of healthcare over the years (Family Medicine, Pain Management, Sports Medicine, PT and Thermography) but private duty home care has by far, been both the most physically challenging and spiritually rewarding. To observe and assist in the personal daily living of the sick and/or differently abled and their families can only be described as an honor and privilage ... and for so many reasons.

My clients have been largely little people. I currently care for a 12yo beautiful, young girl with CP, who is cornial blind and partially deaf and has had a host of other medical conditions and surgeries; most recently a complete spinal fusion to correct severe scoliosis, which affected her daily living, breathing and overall health because it was so disfiguring to her spine. To say this surgery gave her new life would be a complete understatement.

Last week myself, another caregiver, and her guardian, took her to Belmar Beach. She'd never been to a beach and LOVED it, but the surf was rough and prevented us from taking her into the water. Instead we put her in a reclining beach chair and let the water rush up and over her legs. She attends an 8 week summer school program for special needs children and this summer the theme was the beach. They did allot of sensory stuff with water and sand so this trip was a nice way to expand on those experiences too.

This week we took her to Atsion Lake in Wharton State Park, NJ. The lake is flat water, so no waves this time and like Belmar, they also had sand wheelchairs (God bless the person that invented these, they're enormous blessings to the individuals that need them). Atsion Lake is completely equipped and accessable to the disabled; they ought to model all of the state parks after this one. I had brought a regulation life vest which gave "J"  added buoyancy which she responded to with joy. Her body is normally rigid from the CP but oh boy, in the water, you'd never know it. She must have felt safe because she was like a fish, kicking and rocking all over the place. Her smile and trust of our guidance in the water told us that this had been a most enjoyable experience.

Both water and horseback riding are so wonderfully therapeutic to the neuromuscular system but especially a compromised or damaged one. My oldest daughter Morgen volunteered and worked at a therapeutic riding facility in NE Philly, during her teen years, and when I'd arrive early to pick her up, I'd often get to observe the therapy sessions in progress and speak to the families. The ability of the riders to do things on the back of the horses (like stretching, standing, lying down, tossing balls and turning around) that they weren't able to accomplish from their chairs or from the ground, is awe inspiring and amazing. And the expressions and smiles on their faces, like on "J's" are simply contagious and heartwarming.

How blessed we've been to come to know these children and their families!

Middletown Grange Fair and 4H

This is Amber's second year in 4H's WHI Club (Warminster, Holland and Ivyland) and she seems to enjoy the 4H activities more than any other organized groups activities that she's participated. Aside from Wreath Making, Clothes and Culture, Poster Design and Soap Crafting, this was also her second year attending 4H's week long summer camp. She just can't say enough good about her experiences, the camp councilors, the food (surprisingly very good) and the activities. She'll be old enough to be a *councilor in training* next year and is also looking forward to that.

Here are some pics from her various project submissions and camp. The theme this year was "Wild about 4H".

Gifted and Gorgeous?

When we were newly homeschooling, my girls were often asked "What school do you go to?"  Saying they were homeschooled often detained them at length to explain the hows and whys, so they decided to name their *school* in hopes that it would change the course of the conversations and, they were absolutely right ... it did.

So GG Academy was born sometime in 2000, and originally stood for Gregory Gals. Surprisingly, no one asked what it actually stood for but would ask, "Oh? Where is that?", their obvious answer being our hometown, of which they'd usually reply insinc. So many people replied with, "Oh, I know where that is!"... and THAT was just an open invitation for the girls to say something like, "Oh, the yellow and white two story, mid block on ****** Avenue?  Blue shutters, old swing set in the rear (tongue in cheek)?" Always funny ...

No less confident in their pre-teen years, they changed the acronym meaning to Gifted and Gorgeous. Now as young adults, they've remained committed to and are more appreciative of their unique learning experiences and it's many opportunities, blessings and gifts. The beautiful part of our homeschooling experience had been that our living and learning have become so closely meshed that it's hard to recognise or feel a separation between the two. It allows us all the freedom and time to follow our interests and passions with minimal constraints, maximum support and guidance, from each other, family, friends and even many within our community. It's allowed my husband and I to be the primary influences in our children's development (I get the gist of the villiage mentality but sorry, the villiage isn't what it used to be). In a nutshell, we homeschool because we wanted our kids to be confident, kind, caring, compassionate, loving and respected individuals who can think, act and speak appropriately and independantly of others; regardless of the venue, gender or generation gap.

Whether or not they choose to homeschool their own children remains to be seen. They at least understand that while education takes on many respectable forms, what we've come to know as true knowledge is and should always be an individual and personal attainment that adapts and spans a lifetime of mostly self education, not crammed into the first eighteen years of life and largely determined and directed by others. No matter what careers they choose or what colleges they attend (or not) we're confident that they're going to do well and adjust well to life and all of it's curve balls.

Blogging? Again?

Good grief, here I go again, my umpteenth attempt at blogging. I always start out with best intentions and then quickly fizzle.

My first attempt at blogging was several years ago when I wanted to journal our home educating journey, a diary of sorts, to record all the wonderful things we were experiencing and all the great places we were visiting. But we were having too much fun and keeping ourselves so busy in the process, that it was really hard for me to steal time away from our daily living to record it.

In hindsight, I'm grateful. It's been my life's biggest blessing, to have been able to grow and learn as a parent along side of my children, as they were growing and learning too. Life's no less busy now but the dynamics of our long held routines are changing, and of course the gals are getting older now too and following more individual and independent paths. It's wonderful and rewarding to sit back and watch that happen.

Fast forward to the present and GG Academy's first homeschool grad, Morgen. I may not have journaled but thankfully, we have lots of pictures to joggle our memories. Or maybe I should say mine because my three girls seem to exercise great recall. Especially of places and events they'd reluctantly attended or were so amused by because something unexpected, unusual or particularly funny unfolded -- which happened often.

Hopefully my gals will jump in and share some of their memoirs, thoughts and experiences; it might just give me the incentive I need to keep fueling these pages.